


When the Dust Settles

by LouderthanSilence



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Big Brother Kakashi, Canon-Typical Violence, Fix-It of Sorts, Hatake Kakashi-centric, Hiruzen is an ass, Kid Hatake Kakashi, M/M, Slow Burn, Traumatized Kakashi, blood tw, gai is a sweetheart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2020-10-13 11:13:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20581568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LouderthanSilence/pseuds/LouderthanSilence
Summary: Kakashi swallows down his apology because he's already apologized 16 times and it’s done nothing so far.“No amount of “I’m sorry” will bring back the dead. All we can do now is move forward with them in our memories” Minato had said and Kakashi had only nodded numbly. He didn’t add on where he wished that he could erase those memories from his head because it just hurt. It hurt so bad.OR alternatively the fic where Kakashi adopts baby Naruto after the nine-tails attack and Naruto teaches Kakashi how to do more than survive.





	1. The Day Kakashi’s World Fell Apart

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So this is a rambling really and I Was itching to write something where Kakashi takes in Naruto after Minato and Kushina die so here’s the start of it. I might add more later on depending on how well this is received.  
Also, apparently I really like writing angst. 🙃
> 
> Finally, please ignore any mistakes, I got acrylic nails for this thing and I can’t type worth the shit.

_ After the war, the bodies are collected.  _

_ Death does not discriminate. It takes what it wants and leaves nothing but heartbreak in its aftermath.  _

_ 45 that’s the number of dead bodies Kakashi finds himself carefully sealing into scrolls  _

_ Kakashi remembers the day they stumbled across the 3 scrolls in Minato's bag.  _

_ “Why just three when there are 4 of us!” Obito had asked.  _

_ “Stupid if all 4 of us die, who’s left to bring home the bodies?” Kakashi wishes he hadn’t said that. Wishes that he hadn’t called Obito stupid then.  _

He takes a deep breath and seals the next body into a blank scroll before carefully setting it in his bag. 

Minato is there because  _ he’s always there _ , with his warm hand on Kakashi’s shoulder and those reassuring crystal blue eyes that are looking at him like  _ it’s not his fault but oh god it is. Minato I’m so so sorry.  _

Kakashi swallows down his apology because he's already apologized 16 times and it’s done nothing so far. 

_ No amount of “I’m sorry” will bring back the dead. All we can do now is move forward with them in our memories  _ Minato had said and Kakashi had only nodded numbly. He didn’t add on where he wished that he could erase those memories from his head because  _ it hurt. It just hurt so badly.  _

_ He wishes a lot of things now, like how he wishes the scroll that contained Rin’s body didn’t feel so heavy in his bag or that he didn’t feel so sick and dishonest as he handed the scroll to her mother with rin’s blood still crusted under his fingernails.  _

_ He wishes that Obito's grandmother hadn’t pulled him in so tight and told him it wasn’t his fault because it was wasn’t it? Obito died saving him. _

** _Everything was always Kakashi’s fault. _ **

Minato tried,  _ and failed,  _ to convince Kakashi that it wasn’t his fault. That they died because of enemies and Kakashi was not to blame. 

‘ _ You don’t understand,’  _ Kakashi wanted to say, to scream until his throat was raw, ‘ _ you don’t understand! Their blood is on my hands’  _ ** _and it won’t wash off. _ **

Kakashi doesn’t scream at Minato, instead he simply throws himself into his training, a _ routine to distract him.  _

_ Wake up, eat, train, sleep, repeat.  _

Often, Minato will invite Kakashi over for dinner and Kushina will fret over him probably about how a mother would,  _ Kakashi wouldn’t honestly know.  _

_ What he does know, however, is that he gets a warm feeling in his chest when she adjusts his headband or brushes his hair out of his face.  _

_ Plus, her hugs are the best.  _

There’s a hollow feeling in his chest when Minato tells him he’s been chosen to be the fourth hokage. 

_ “It’s an honor _ ” Minato says. And it  _ is and that’s the problem _ . Kakashi  _ knows  _ it’s selfish but he can’t help but wonder what about  _ him?  _ Will Minato still have time for him once he becomes hokage? Will they still go on missions together? Will Minato and Kushina still invite him over for dinner? 

Minato is barely in the office when Kushina announces that she’s pregnant and suddenly Kakashi’s chest is tight because  _ a baby means no room for him.  _

_ “That’s amazing news”  _ Kakashi’s chest tightens further as the lie spills from his lips. 

The next day he accepts a B rank mission in the land of waves and he’s gone for 2 weeks. 

When he returns, Minato gives him another mission.  _ A long term one.  _

Watching over Kushina during her pregnancy is equal parts boring and uncomfortable. 

Mainly because nothing really happens except for when she takes his hand and presses it to her belly and he can  _ feel the baby move.  _

He feels nauseous when she says, “ _ Little Naruto is sure an excited little fellow isn’t he? Man he’s gonna be such a handful”  _ Kakashi nods because he doesn’t know what else there is to say. 

Kakashi helps Kushina pick out colors for the babies nursery and he does most of the painting while Kushina folds the endless baby clothes that the other Shinobi have given her. 

Mikoto Uchiha visits often and her and Kushina sit in the nursery and talk baby things while Kakashi keeps watch outside the room, watching for what, he doesn’t know. 

“ _ I don’t think you should worry too much, Little Sasuke will have a good big brother to watch over him when he’s born.” Kushina says to Mikoto, “just like Little Naruto will have his big brother Kakashi to watch over him”  _ she finishes and Kakashi’s chest  _ really feels tight because him? She thinks he’s worthy enough to hold the title of ‘big brother’?  _

Kakashi wants to burst into the room and tell both women that  _ he, of all people, would make a terrible big brother,  _ but he doesn't. Instead, he swallows hard and returns to writing his mission report. 

The day Kushina is due, Minato gives him the day off. 

“ _ No, I should be there to protect her!” _ Kakashi wants to argue, but Minato is smiling. 

“ _ Everything’s going to be fine Kakashi”  _ Minato says warmly and confidently. Kakashi nods wirelessly and tries to smile back, but it feels wrong and doesn’t dissolve the lead that’s settled in his stomach. 

Something  _ does _ go wrong and one minute Kakashi is at the training ground and the next the alarm is blaring through the village. He hurried to Hokage tower because  _ that’s where he’s supposed to go  _ and that’s when he’s told that the ninetails has broken loose. 

Suddenly Kakashi can’t  _ breath, and he’s shoving and kicking at the Shinobi who hold him back and block the doors.  _

“I’ve gotta go help Sensei!” His cries fall on deaf ears and the only response he receives is the barrier that’s thrown up in his face as the adults leave to deal with the demon fox, leaving everyone under the age of

18 locked inside. Unable to help. 

Kakashi beats on the barrier walls until his fists are black and blue and dripping with blood. 

Someone takes his arm gently and pulls him away. 

_ Its Gai.  _

Gai pulls Kakashi into his chest and Kakashi sobs until his tears are dry and then he shuts down _ ,  _ and he doesn’t move or respond, even when Gai cleans his hands up and it stings, or when he bandages them slightly too tightly and it  _ hurts _ , he remains quiet. 

The moment the alarm stops and the barrier drops, Kakashi is out, running as fast as his legs would carry him in the direction of the secret place Minato had taken Kushina to give birth. 

Gai is right on his heels and he’s shouting something but Kakashi can’t hear anything over the sound of his own blood rushing through his ears. 

He’s nauseous and both of his eyes burn and he actually vomits when he finally gets to his destination because  _ they’re both dead.  _

_ Minato and Kushina are dead.  _

Kakashi collapses onto the ground and pounds his already bloody fists into the dirt. He lets out a wail that echoes off the trees. 

His only response is the sound of crying.  _ Of a baby crying.  _

_ Naruto! _

Both Kakashi and Gai search around frantically, trying to locate the baby making the noise, upturning anything they could find. 

It’s Gai that finds the baby and Kakashi is next to him immediately. 

It’s a naked chubby little thing with a tuft of blond hair and Kakashi chokes back a sob when the baby opens his eyes and they are as blue as if he’d captured the entire sky in them. 

Kakashi reaches out a finger to poke at the baby and he stops crying and wraps his chubby little hand around Kakashi's finger and blows a raspberry. 

“Hey, Naruto. Its… it’s me, your big brother, Kakashi” he whispers, voice cracking halfway through. 

As he carefully lifts the baby out of Gai’s arms, Kakashi makes a promise to himself. 

_ He’s going to be the best big brother he can be.  _


	2. Stability is my Middle Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Fine then,” Kakashi says, blood boiling and sharingan swirling wildly beneath his mask, “I quit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this got done a lot faster than I expected but I’m just so excited to be writing something like this!! 
> 
> I love Kakashi So writing about him is my favorite. 
> 
> Also this particular story is focusing more on Kakashi raising Naruto than it does on Kakashi and Gai’s relationship but it’s still going to be kind of a slow burn for that. 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
> 
> Anyways. Please enjoy and let me know what you think!! :)

_ The Sandaime doesn’t want Kakashi to have the baby.  _

_ “You’re unstable” he says and Kakashi wants to vault over the desk and grab him up by the front of his crumpled ugly nightshirt, spit in his face and tell him that it’s  _ ** _this _ ** _ village that made him that way.  _

_ He wants to tell him that he’s given  _ ** _everything _ ** _ to this stupid fucking village and gotten nothing in return but pain and anguish, but Gai is there and his grip on Kakashi’s shoulder is stern, holding him in place.  _

So, Kakashi only glares as the Sandaime goes on to list all the reasons why Kakashi is unfit to care for the fourths now  _ orphaned _ child

Gai’s grip tightens on Kakashi’s shoulder and he knows that this is grating on Gai’s nerves as much as it is grating on his own. 

The final straw that causes Kakashi to snap is when the third says “plus you’re a full time Shinobi. You don’t have time to take care of a baby. Especially the new jinchuuriki of the nine-tails” 

“Fine then,” Kakashi says, blood boiling and sharingan swirling wildly beneath his mask, “I quit.” 

The declaration stuns everyone in the room,  _ including Kakashi himself,  _ but, never one to back down from a challenge,  _ especially one of this caliper,  _ Kakashi stands his ground. 

The sandaime has nothing to say to this, as he continues to open and shut his mouth. 

Kakashi wants to laugh because he can’t help but think about how he looks just like a fish like that. 

“You can’t!” The third finally cries, unable to form a proper response. 

Kakashi wants to childishly cross his arms but he’s still holding the baby so he settles for glaring with his only visible eye. 

“Why not?” He challenges and he takes great pleasure in watching Hiruzen flounder. 

“Because you’re a valuable asset to the village with that eye of yours” Hiruzen counters and Kakashi grins because he  _ knows  _ he’s got him backed into a corner now. 

He lifts his forehead protector to expose his sharingan and Hiruzen actually  _ flinches back.  _

“This thing? You can have it if you’d like. Take it back and destroy it? Would you like me to pull it out for you?” Kakashi taunts the fourth, hiding a grin behind his mask. In his arms, Naruto gurgles happily, raising his little meaty fists up towards Kakashi. 

“No no that won’t be necessary. But I suppose we could make a deal” the third coughs into his handkerchief. Kakashi shares a look with Gai and pulls a face underneath his mask. 

_ A deal _ . He doesn't like the sound of those words because it was never quite an even trade when you were talking deals with the government. Kakashi clears his throat. 

“What did you have in mind Lord Third” the sharingan user tries his best to sound attentive and but the words ‘ _ lord third’  _ come out more mocking than respectful. 

“You may ... be relieved of your active duties” the third eyes the baby in Kakashi’s arms with disdain and Kakashi finds himself wondering what exactly the third would do with Naruto if Kakashi weren’t here. Certainly he wouldn’t punish a child for the sins of another…  _ would he? _ Kakashi is then brought back to the present as the third continues, “temporarily until the boy is able to start schooling at the academy. Then you will be required to return to active duty” Hiruzen punctuates the end of his offer with another cough into his handkerchief. 

Kakashi tries to hide his  _ very obvious  _ grin but it’s near impossible as he sounds  _ far too giddy _ when he replies “yes lord third” 

Hiruzen dismisses the two Shinobi and Kakashi all but bolts for the door, pulling his headband back down over his eye. 

“Oh, and Kakashi one more thing” Kakashi swallowed hard as he turned around. 

“Yes sir?” He asked. 

“We will need to examine uh,” Hiruzen floundered. 

“Naruto. His name is Naruto.” Kakashi supplied. 

“Right. Anyway, we will need to examine him every few months to check how the seal is holding up.” Hiruzen more commanded than suggested, 

Kakashi raised his eyebrow and grit his teeth. 

Just as he opened his mouth to argue, Gai’s hand landed on his shoulder once more and it was the black haired ninja who cleared his throat this time around. 

“With all due respect Lord Third, I do believe Kakashi and I are more than capable of watching over and monitoring Naruto’s seal” he speaks evenly. Kakashi blinks a few times, mostly in shock about Gai’s inclusion of himself in his statement. 

_ Gai wanted to help raise the baby?  _ Kakashi wondered. 

“Ah yes of course. But should the seal show any signs of weakening” Hiruzen warned. 

“We will contact a member of the council immediately. Now if you’ll excuse us, it’s very late and we still need to make sleeping arrangements for little Naruto here” Gai cut Hiruzen off firmly and Kakashi had to admit he was slightly impressed with Gai’s ability to keep his cool under pressure. 

“Very well then. You two are dismissed.” The Third says with a wave of his hand. 

The two young ninjas are quiet as the exit the tower and they spend half of the walk to Kakashi’s apartment in silence, save for the occasional gurgle or similar noise from Naruto, who just seemed happy and content to be wrapped up in Minato’s tattered Hokage robe. 

“Thank you Gai.” Kakashi mumbles under his breath and for a moment, he’s worried Gai didn’t hear him but then Gai turns to him and flashes him a wide smile. 

“Of course! Anything for my rival” Gai exclaims and Kakashi resists the urge to laugh because  _ of course Gai’s going to bring up them being ‘rivals’  _

Most days, Kakashi honestly wasn’t sure if Gai truly understood what the word meant. 

As they neared Kakashi’s apartment, the two ninja spotted someone standing in front of his front door, putting both boys on high alert. 

But upon closer inspection, Kakashi realized that this person was not meant to be a threat and he felt relief flood through him as he recognized who it was. 

Mikoto Uchiha looked worse for wear, with soot smeared across her cheek and blood from a head wound still drying but she smiled in that soft way of hers and raised her hand in greeting as the two boys made their way closer. Kakashi carefully handed off the baby so that he could dig his keys out of his pockets and Mikoto was on him in an instant, arms snaking around his waist.

For a moment, Kakashi was frozen, paralyzed in fear of what this woman,  _ Kushina Uzumaki’s best friend,  _ was going to say to him but she didn’t say  _ anything.  _

Which honestly worried Kakashi even more and when she pulled away from him her eyes were bloodshot,  _ though whether from her Sharingan usage or crying he’d never know.  _

She smiled sadly at him once more before turning her attention to the small bundle Gai still held in his arms. 

“Oh my. Is this babe Naruto? May I?” She asked quietly reaching out her hands. Gai sent a questioning look Kakashi’s way and he could only shrug in response so, Gai handed Naruto over. 

“He looks just like Minato” Mikoto said quietly, slightly choked up as if she were holding back tears. Kakashi swallowed hard. 

“He. He does” Kakashi’s voice was barely above a whisper but Mikoto nodded along all the same. 

“Are you going to be taking care of him?” She asked Kakashi who nodded unsurely. 

“Okay so, what all do you know about child care?” She asked him softly. Kakashi bristled at the question because really,  _ what did he know about taking care of a baby? He was 14 for god's sake.  _

He shrugged, embarrassed at his own ignorance but Mikoto didn’t seem to mind nor notice Kakashi’s struggle. 

“Well it looks like I’ve got my work cut out for me. Let’s go inside and I’ll start with the basics” 


	3. Obligations are a Heavy Burden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are you sure about this? I know that everything’s already been decided really but I just wanted to make sure you aren’t just doing this out of obligation. That you want this.” The whole time he was speaking, Gai’s eyes never left Kakashi’s one. 
> 
> “It is my obligation. I failed to protect Kushina. This is the least I can do” since I’m a terrible Shinobi. Kakashi didn’t voice the last part but he might as well have, what with how Gai was eyeing him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!!   
So I’ve been struggling with writers block and working 50+ hours a week isn’t helping so I’ve really been struggling to write all my fics BUT I finally got around to finishing up this chapter (even if I’m not super happy with it) 
> 
> Anyways, please enjoy and let me know what you think!!

Mikoto is kind and patient as she explains to both boys,  _ because for some reason, Gai stayed and Kakashi is too scared to question it, _ how to take care of Naruto. 

Most of it seems pretty straight forward, buy the powdered milk from the store and heat it up on the stove. Feed and then burp him. Kakashi isn’t too worried about having to get up every few hours to feed him, after all he isn’t a stranger to sleepless nights, be if from a mission or his nightmares. 

But then, Mikoto shows them how to bathe Naruto and  _ that freaked Kakashi out.  _

_ He was just so tiny and fragile and he really didn’t want to hurt him. _

Surprisingly, Gai is the one to volunteer to bathe the baby and Kakashi makes absolutely no objections and opts to stand to the side and nervously watch. As he watches Gai carefully bathe the baby all the while blowing raspberries and making funny faces to make Naruto laugh, Kakashi tries not to think too hard about how easily Gai is falling into step with this.  _ How he’d barely even questioned Kakashi about taking care of Naruto.  _

_ After his bath,  _ Mikoto,  _ still with soot smeared across her cheek,  _ set about showing Kakashi how to make a bottle.

_ Thank god Mikoto thought to bring diapers and some other things on her way over. Else Kakashi and Gai would’ve been fucked. They really were out of their league with this.  _

As the bottle was warming, she turned and asked if either boys were hungry. 

Kakashi shook his head no. 

“Have you eaten anything today?” Mikoto asked gently, handing the now warm bottle to Kakashi. 

Kakashi blinked owlishly at Mikoto’s question as he tried to remember.  _ Had he eaten today??  _

Unable to recall, He finally settled on shrugging. Mikoto gave him a disapproving look before spinning back around and opening the fridge. 

“Some omurice should be fine right?” She asked no one in particular. 

Kakashi felt that familiar warmth in his chest as he watched her bustle around the kitchen, only this time the warmth was accompanied by a deep sadness. 

  
  


*******

Mikoto left shortly after she made sure both boys ate along with the promise to be back the following morning to help Gai,  _ Kakashi didn’t think he could bare to go just yet,  _ get all the baby things from Kushina and Minato’s House. 

Kakashi couldn’t help but feel nervous as he watched as the door clicked shut, leaving him alone with Naruto and Gai. 

For a long moment, no one said anything, until Gai spoke up. 

“Hey, Kakashi.” He said quietly which was quite  _ odd  _ because Gai just didn’t do quiet.  _ None of the Maito’s ever did.  _

“Hm?” Kakashi turned to Gai. 

“Are you sure about this? I know that everything’s already been decided really but I just wanted to make sure you aren’t just doing this out of obligation. That you  _ want this.”  _ The whole time he was speaking, Gai’s eyes never left Kakashi’s one. 

“It  _ is  _ my obligation. I failed to protect Kushina. This is the least I can do”  _ since I’m a terrible Shinobi.  _ Kakashi didn’t voice the last part but he might as well have, what with how Gai was eyeing him. 

Kakashi didn’t like when Gai looked at him like that. It was as if he were seeing straight through him, picking apart his lies and staring at what lie underneath. 

_ Look underneath the underneath.  _

That had once been Kakashi’s go to phrase. A mantra that he would repeat over and over in his head, something to keep him grounded, but right now it just made him want to laugh. 

Idly, Kakashi wondered just what Gai saw when he looked at him, but, he squashed that thought because now that he’s thought about it, he doesn’t think he’d be able to handle knowing. 

For the second time today, Gai doesn’t say anything, only stares at Kakashi,  _ until the baby fusses,  _ then Gai is across the room and lifting the fragile thing out of Kakashi’s arms. 

“Let’s get this little one to bed” Gai said, punctuating his sentence by blowing a raspberry. 

Kakashi watched in silence, as Gai carefully laid Naruto down in the makeshift crib they’d made. 

_ “It’s a little funny looking, but it’ll do for the night at least” Mikoto had said.  _

Kakashi had not argues because he didn’t know anything better. 

“How are you so good with him already?” The words slip past Kakashi’s lips before he can think to stop them. They come out jealous and muffled underneath his mask. 

He chews his lip underneath the mask as Gai laughs. 

“You really think so?” He asks, cocking his head to the side in the way that Kakashi had grown to love. 

Kakashi wasn’t sure if his voice would betray him so he settled on nodding. 

Gai turned back to the baby and stared down at him for a second before sighing quietly. 

“I’ve had a lot of practice I suppose” he said with a laugh. Kakashi narrowed his eyes 

“But you don’t have any” Kakashi started. 

“Siblings I know” Gai finished for him. Gai made his way to the door and Kakashi followed him out back to the kitchen where Gai settled in a chair at the table. 

Kakashi took the one across from him. 

Gai let out a small sigh. 

“When my father died, I didn’t have enough money to keep the house so they relocated me to the village orphanage. I was the oldest one there so I more or less ended up taking care of the little ones” Gai punctuated his story with a shrug. 

“I didn’t know that” Kakashi said, voice barely above a whisper, “I’m sorry” he tacked on at the end, mostly because he felt like that was something you say.

_ That’s what everyone said to him when his father died anyway.  _

Gai shook his head. 

“Of course you didn’t know. How could you have? It’s not like I told anyone or anything. And once I managed to graduate from the academy and take missions, then I was able to move into my own place” he finished, shrugging once more. 

Kakashi was at a loss as to what to say so he focused his attention on staring down at his hands that lay clasped together on the table. 

“Hey. It’s getting late. We should probably head to bed.” Gai says suddenly. Then, he’s standing and pulling Kakashi out of his own chair. 

Kakashi let’s Gai lead him to his bedroom,  _ even lets him push him down onto his bed,  _ but panic surges through him when he sees Gai turn away from him. 

“Wait!” Kakashi says loudly, rushed and half panicked. Gai stills and for a second, Kakashi’s worried he’s asking for too much so when Gai turns around to ask him “what for?” Kakashi is silent. He drops Gai’s shirt,  _ he’d jolted forward and grabbed it in his panic,  _ and focuses on his feet. 

“never mind” he mumbles. His face is heating up under his mask and it’s  _ suffocating,  _ but removing his mask is something he simply  _ cannot do,  _ so he forces himself to breath through it. 

_ Acting like nothing is wrong is a skill he’s perfected over the years.  _

But Gai,  _ sweet sweet Gai, his lifelong rival, his best friend,  _ sees straight through his act like always and soon enough the lights are being turned off and someone’s pulling the blankets over him and its  _ Gai.  _

Gai pulls him up in bed and doesn’t hesitate when he wraps his arms around Kakashi’s smaller frame. 

At first it’s a little awkward, what with his face being buried in his  _ eternal rivals _ chest, but it isn’t long before Kakashi finds his eyes stinging with unshed tears. He tries to blink them back but when Gai starts to rub his back, the dam breaks and Kakashi cries. 

He cries for Rin and Obito and how they’ll never get to have kids of their own, he cries for Minato and Kushina, who will never get to see their baby grow up, but mostly he just cries for Naruto,  _ the baby who didn’t ask for any of this but got landed in the middle anyways.  _

He cries until there's nothing left and then he falls asleep, Gai still rubbing his back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I have been informed that you shouldn’t bathe newborns BUT we are going to disregard that fact for the sake of the fic ok thanks 😩😩


End file.
